Free to be me

I am sitting here with Anna Belle as she gives me a lesson on creative writing.  I tend to write in bullet points and lament over every word I choose.  I am generally a very expressive person and do not have trouble telling someone my thoughts and feelings.  However, when I write I consider everyone's ears and then I try to become everything to everyone.  That, I know at this stage of my life, does not work.  Never has and never will.  I am so happy to be writing again.  I wrote a children's story years ago when my son was young and it was published.  I entered a nation wide contest and it was picked with 20 others and they were combined into a book that was published and sold and benefited the campaign to fight illiteracy.  I even had a book signing at half price books.  When I look back over the years I have always written and loved to read.  When did I become so insecure about my writing or self expression.  When did I weigh every word as if they would all be published and I would have to account to my 3rd grade english teacher as to why I was not paying attention and talking to my best friend instead.  Who has amazing self expression!  I have always loved to write and I especially love to read.  I am definitely particular about who I read.  It has to captivate me or I have no problem stopping a book even in the middle.  I have never felt like I have to finish something just for the sake of finishing.  That is not me.  Life is short and you cannot get time back.  I believe you have to make everything worth it.  I am sitting at the home of some of the most creative people I know hoping to unleash what I know is inside of me.  I am done being ruled by fear and ready to embrace who God made me to be.  Not perfect.  Not even close.  And my grammar is still average.  Well I know change is possible.  I did survive Culinary School.  Soooooo  I am going to unleash my creative side.  I do believe that it has been bottled up for so long.  Translated into anxiety. I am ready to be free.  "And the truth will set you free".  I need and want to be free.  I want to live the remaining years of my life free from anxiety.  Embracing who I am and enjoying the ride.